Changing Neighborhoods

I'm going to abandon blogger for awhile. I'm moving to wordpress. So far it's more difficult but once I get the hang of things I think it'll be worth it. So it'll be a bit of a process but here is my new address - http://redhead75.wordpress.com/ Make sure you get this link into your bloggers because that's the one i'll be posting from for now...unless WP starts to piss me off! LOL!

NEW BLOG!!

Ever Have One Of Those Days?

Where EVERYTHING goes GREAT! It started off with an awesome cardio session, a great breakfast and a pleasant walk with Boomer. She even found something along the way :)

Then I finally went to Goodwill and Half Price books and I left here at 10a, got all the green lights and made it back by 10:30a! I thought about stopping at Nature's Pharm but I knew I would buy things I really don't need like organic chocolate.

Then I was bored and didn't feel like doing my leg workout so I laid down to take a power nap(don't hate me I don't have any $$). I heard the doorbell ring and it was the UPS man with my Metrx! WOO!

Sweet, you can see my shiny gold tooth in this picture. Well you wouldn't know that's what it was but now you know. My grandpa had a gold tooth so I got one too! His was in the front, not sure I would go that far ;)

So then I was excited about my leg workout because afterwards I would get a chocolate shake! YUM! Okay, although I don't have any $$ these are worth every penny to me :)

Unmotivated Monday

Do all you working people out there have things you need to do and think if only I didn't have to work today I would do ______. I use to think that all the time. I need to take a gazillion books to Half Price Books and i'm procrastinating like crazy! It's getting ready to rain and Boomer is afraid so that's now my excuse ;)

This day started off great! I got up and did an INTENSE half an hour cardio segment. It must have been the energy from the pie yesterday but I was kickin arse! I'm loving this energy I have during my workouts! Now if my strength would only be as intense WATCH OUT! I then took Boomer for a 2.5 mile walk and she's wore out! YES! Wearing a dog out that is half border collie isn't easy. I have an amazing shoulder workout for today and then tonight i'll throw in some step aerobics unless something good is on Oprah and then it'll be incline walking!

I got a new protein powder and it gets an A+++ in my books! YUM! I got the chocolate peanut butter and it's fantastic! I made my little protein brownie and added strawberries before I nuked it and it came out GREAT!

Okay that's enough rambling from me today...unless I think of something else. Oh the storms a comin...gotta stay home now :)

Please Give Me the Willpower......

This is in my house! Typically it wouldn't last more than 2 days but I feel i'm over that. I think my problem is that when I was younger and in my "fat free" craze I would NOT touch nuts at all! I mean they are fat right? So now that i'm more educated I think they are healthy. They are, but not in the amounts I can consume them. So I am going to show myself that I can control this and win!!

Today my mom and I went to Jodi's hometown of Seymour to visit our cousin Bobbi Jo. Did you see that Jodi? We didn't even know LOL!!!! It was a fun visit because she is a hoot to be around. It was her b-day and my mom got her a chocolate pie. On the 45 min drive down there I ate my salad sans chicken but Bobbi cut 3 pieces of pie and I wasn't going to say anything. I did well though, I didn't eat the whipped cream or the crust and only a bit of the chocolate. Best part is I didn't freak out! I felt like a normal person! A few hours later I went out to the car and ate my apple and tuna :) I'll admit when I got home I did a half an hour of cardio but that's it LOL!

I want to get these abs back! I need this visual so that I don't go and eat some PB LOL!!!!!

Sammich!

Woo! Today is sandwich Saturday! I LOVE Saturdays...especially when they involve sandwiches hee hee :) It is SO nice out here today. We had a garage sale and made $62! Now i'm gonna load up all the rest of the junk and take it to Goodwill. I'm going to sale my books at Half Price Books and make some more cash.

I need to do my bi/tri workout today. I just REALLY hate that workout. I would rather do an hour of cardio.

I almost weighed myself this morning. My stomach was empty I felt lean and I was curious. Then I thought again why does that stupid number even matter? If it's not what I want it to be then my day would be ruined so I didn't get on the scale.

My mom gave me her Rockin Roller to sale today. The lady that bought it looked at me and said it must work because you're skinny. I just smiled. What I really wanted to say was, this piece of junk won't work for anyone! Did you eat McD's for breakfast this morning? I did walk to McD's this morning to get Mike a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and some dollars for our sale. It felt good to buy that and be healthy and thin. No one knew that is wasn't for me. I was that "she's lucky" girl for a minute. I hate when people say i'm lucky because I'm thin and don't have to worry about things. HELLO!!!! Maybe I should tell them to read my blog and they will find out it takes work and I am a mental case!!!

Don't Look Under Your Bed!

There might be a Green Monster!

These are very good i'll admit...BUT...I miss my Met-rx!

1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond breeze(drinking skim milk right now though??)
1 scoop chocolate whey protein powder
3 strawberries
1/2 banana frozen
some spinach
some ice
DARN! I forgot the blueberries...oh well.


That was me when I realized I didn't have anymore yummy chocolatey packets left. Plus I think that's about my chest size too HA!

I need more digestive enzymes so I went to the Vitamin Shoppe. Can you believe that is the only thing I bought!! I'm so proud of myself :) I needed more fish oil but I know Target has that cheaper. I almost bought some chocolate vitamin D disks too mmm...but I put them back.

THEN I went to Kroger to get some more ACV. It was lunch time and I was ravenous. I picked up this, that, well i'll just buy some nuts and eat a few, these ice cream bars are only 90 cals...etc..looking at all the nutritional info on EVERYTHING. I bet people think i'm loony. Guess what I left with? ACV, tomatoes, and a dog treat WOO! I'm really excited about this new meal plan and I don't want to screw it up.

My Happy Place

I haven't weighed in a few weeks and I SWEAR i'm happier and leaner! Not knowing what that number is helps my mental state. Sure it may come back to bite me in the ass but the freedom is nice right now. My clothes are loser and i'm eating things I never thought I would get to have! I love Tony...right now LOL!

I've been going by my measurements. Isn't that little girl cute, I swear that looks like me when I was that age...measuring myself ugh.

Measurments 5/31

waist-24.5
hips-35
thighs-21
Measurments


Measurements 3/16

waist-25.5
hips-36.5
thighs-22

So something is happening and i'm really pleased with my body right now. Sure being show ready and 107 lbs is when i'm happiest...or is it? Right now and especially since I don't have the $$$ to compete i'm content. I'm not settling or maintaing though! I'm killing my workouts and loving the carbs WOO! This is NOT a bulk phase. This is a show my fat cells whose boss phase!

Man, I want this DVD so bad. Not having money SUCKS! I need a sugar daddy LOL!

C.O.W

Cream of Wheat in my tummy, Cream of Wheat it's so yummy!

Told you i'm LOVING this diet right now LOL! A few months ago I asked Tony if I could eat this to switch things up. He says not yet. So now on this kick butt diet I get it! Only today but still it's a start ;)

My workouts and cardio sessions have been killer! Now I love when the fitness girls posts their workouts and then I can attempt them :) Thanks Em, Lishia, and Jenn!

The Amazing Sniffer

I was out at the park walking Boomer this morning and it smelled like honeysuckle and it brought back some great memories. Memories of being young and reading my scratch and sniff books. I love it when you smell something and it brings back awesome memories. Especially those when you were little and didn't have a worry in the world.

My diet right now is AWESOME!!!!! OMG!!! The best part is i'm feeling leaner! Not to mention my cardio sessions have been off the chain! I actually ate a sandwich yesterday...yes bread. The ironic thing is I also got a rice cake with PB. I ONLY get rice cakes on show days and yesterday would have been my show day LOL! I haven't weighed though. I figured as long as i'm sticking to plan it shouldn't matter.

New Diet and New Goals

Hey everyone! I've been reading blogs but just haven't felt or had the time to post. Yesterday was a tough day but we all survived. Thanks again for all you wishes and Elizabeth we had some extraordinary grandparents huh? They made it easy for us to remember them LOL! Memorial Day, Genius! My gma, aunt, mom and I are going to have a vanilla latte on that day from now on because that was gpa's favorite drink :) Did I tell you how organized he was? Man, I wish I had got that from him. Instead I get mine from my dad....it's in the shoe box somewhere. I think I learned some new techniques from him that I will try. It wasn't hard for my aunt to find things that's for sure.

Wednesday I got a new diet!! It's the best diet i've had since being with Tony LOL! It won't last long though so i'll just enjoy it why I can.

I've finally quit looking at pictures of what I want to look like. I mean I need to focus on getting my body to a point where I am healthy and look MY best. I'm really liking the bikini physique right now. You all know how much I change my mind so it may be different tomorrow but check her out...I can look like this only with my body. I have a smaller waist, fuller butt and legs, so when I do get a job and schedule I may be doing a bikini contest in the future? Not in Indy though because they don'thave them. Jodi told me the KY Muscle will so maybe that'll be a goal??

Not So Happy Memorial Day

My grandpa was always doing something in his shed. He was so handy and could do anything. That was up until this February when we found out he had cancer. On a positive he only suffered for a few months, on the negative we will all miss him so much. It hasn't really sank in yet. My grandma said she feels like he will pop through the door any time but she knows he won't. He came into this world on Halloween and he left on Memorial Day.

GRANDPA'S TOOL SHED

Grandpa's tool shed is a special place,
Full of mystery and delight,
Where little kids can come and watch
While Grandpa builds a kite.

Each day before the sunset,
Grandpa is always there,
The sound of his saw and hammer
Filling the evening air.

Grandpa can fix anything
And make it look brand-new-
He fixes toy cars and airplanes,
Trucks and trailers, too.

There are many happy moments
Pleasant to recall,
But Grandpa in his tool shed
Is the nicest one of all.

~By Marie Dostan~

My grandpa always told me to "Keep your powder dry".

What A Fabulous Weekend!

Friday:

Mom and I had a GREAT time! I think I helped take her mind of off grandpa for a bit. We ate BBQ for lunch and sampled 4 different flavors of fudge. Vanilla caramel, Turtle Pecan, Peanut Butter, and Heath Toffee. The turtle pecan was my favorite because it wasn't as sugary...did I just say that? The weather was perfect and we walked...ALOT!

PICTURES!
Saturday:

Mike and I took Boomer to Brown County for a 3 mile hike. OUCH! My legs are still sore. It was a great workout and afterwards we went and got ice cream :) He got a chocolate ice cream and I got a swirl froyo YUM!

Sunday:

I woke up and it was so nice out that Boomer and I went for a 45 min walk. It was nice to stretch my sore legs. Then I went to Target and I was craving pizza. I bought some flatouts and organic tomato sauce for mine. I also did 45 mins of Lishia Deans amazing fun cardio workout! This was in preparation for the pizza. It was yummy too! I put red onion, tomato, mozarella and a bit of goat cheese on it mmmm...Now all that is out of my system. I'm ready to prep my body for a bikini July 4th weekend.

I skipped my bi/tri workout today. Well I did a few of the exercises but I figure my freaking arms just won't grow so what's the point. Wrong attitude I know but I really just don't care right now.

Side Step Two

I got a call yesterday and they decided to fill the purchasing position from within. Then he said that Micki my interviewer was impressed with me and wondered if I would want to come in an interview for the admin asst position. I thought what the heck! It's the same pay and i'm positive I would do a great job. So this morning i'm out for another interview :) The problem is since I only live in workout clothes and my last job I wore a uniform I have NO clothes! Sure I have all those nice cruise dresses but they're NOT interview material. I went to Von Maur, JCPenney and Macy's last night. HELLO! Do they make anything smaller than a 6P? Everything was huge on me...which makes me happy ;) I'm a freak and I don't like wearing girly suits so I have a wrap dress that i'll throw on. I HATE the color of it though. I just need to flash my cheesy smile and show them i'm right for the job.
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Jodi I think it's almond butter and some sort of jam. Unfortunately it's not mine. I stole it from photobucket. I couldn't tell you the last time i've had bread mmmmm...nice soft warm bread with apple butter. Better yet make those fried biscuits with apple butter. Did I ever tell you I had that at my wedding? HA!

Mom and I are going HERE today!! We went last year too and had a blast. YES there will be fudge sample tasting :)

PWO Meal

What does everyone consume post workout? I usually have my Met-rx shake or just a whey shake. I LOVE Met-rx!!! However, until I have a good income again I just can't justify it. Not to mention I don't know what half of that crap is i'm putting into my body. It does taste good though HA!

Step Two Complete

I went for my interview today. There were about 6 others I saw come and go while I was there. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I actually think I would like this job. My last job I managed over 1000 components and this would be a job buying frozen food HA! How awesome would that be? It seems MUCH easier and less stressful than my last job. Like i've said though...if it was meant to be it will be. I'll find out Friday if they need me back for a 2nd interview.

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Gramps is home! My aunts and uncles were going to put him in a home for the next 2 weeks so he could gain some strength. Then they decided to just go ahead and take him home and let him live his life there. Grandma isn't capable of doing everything for him but as long as we can all schedule times to make sure he gets his meds etc...she'll be okay. She wants to take care of him :) I heard her say "why are you winking at me?"..grandpa says "i'm just trying to put a smile on your face". Then when I was leaving he told me to keep my powder dry. He always say that to me so it made me cry :'( In a happy way though!

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FRUIT OF THE WEEK

I think i'm getting carb face but I love fruit!!


See those 2 little white cups on the second shelf? Yep, those are PB containers. They've been there for 4 days now!! Can you believe it? Now if that was a whole jar I swear it wouldn't last. My brain works in weird ways.

Step One Complete

I placed my application today. It was a hiring event and there were TONS of people there. I must say that again I was the youngest. The guy scanned over it and seemed impressed that I was applying for the purchasing agent and not the admin asst. I gots skills okay! Part of me thinks I NEED a job before I get to use to not having one. Another part of me thinks what if I do get accepted for college etc...ugh! If it was meant to be then it will happen. So while doing my shoulder workout this afternoon I see an unknown number on my phone and let the voicemail pick it up. It was Joy calling from Aldi wanting to set up an interview :) It's this Wednesday at noon.

I want to thank all of you for the wishes on my Gramps and my future. You all are the best!

What the Hay?

This place a mile away is having a hiring event tomorrow. Aldi food store. They have a position open for a purchasing agent. I am overqualified and we'll see what happens. I'd only be losing $1.30 an hour from my last job so that's pretty awesome. I just don't know what to do. I really need to get a job ugh...I hate decisions LOL!

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Grandpa is acting better but the cancer is now in his bones. They changed his meds so hopefully that will help his confusion. Today is his and grandma's 62nd anniversary. Grandma says it'll probably be there last and then starts crying :( I haven't seen her cry yet so it was good for her to get it out.

I did take my lunch bag full of yummies though so there was no granola or nut eating :)

Life

I'll try to make this story short. My grandpa is in the hospital. We found out he had cancer a few months ago and he went through radiation etc..I was there Thursday night and it just wasn't my grandpa. They said his calcium level was high and that was causing confusion. Normally I would have been a mess because I had only got 3 workouts in and I HAD to get in my 4th. Screw that. I went 4.5 hours without eating...who cares. I would LOVE to say that I didn't even think about those things but the truth is I DID. I HATE thinking like that!

Today my husband had an eye appt at 8:30a. We decided that i'd go with him and then we'd go to the store together. Well to make another long story short(too late) he was in there for an hour and 15 minutes. What did I think about? How I didn't get up for EMC and now i'm just sitting in the car clipping coupons letting my oats lay on my hips. I mean how mental does that sound?? So I decided to walk around town in my flip flops, it was better than nothing. We go to the store where i'm a complete BITCH and I know i'm being that way but I can't stop. I think i'm PMSing but in reality i've been PMSIng for the last year without having a period!! Okay, i'm going to make a DR. appt this week and see what's up.

I came home and ate lunch and went back out to the hospital. My grandpa is doing much better today. He knows who we all are so that's good. My eating hasn't been that great during this time. I had some organic chocolates and a bite of my hubs dinner last night not to mention the salad I got at lunch had peanut dressing when I asked for balsamic vinegar on the side LOL! Today I had some cashews and a half of a granola bar. I wish I didn't care. Those things aren't THAT bad. It's not like I ate a large fry or a thick shake but that is how my brain works and i'm REALLY trying to get it fixed. I have been looking at other blogs where people are "healthy" and not "neurotic". I tend to be the latter i'll admit.

Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant

Am I suppose to count this as 1 spear or 5? LOL! Some of these are HUGE YUM! I'm into eating them raw too...weird.

I THINK...I might actually have TOM cramps?? I'm so excited! That would mean my body is getting healthy again! If I ever want to stop it again I could always do almost 3 hours of cardio a day. I'm still doing almost 2 but some of that is step aerobics and walking my dog. You know the stuff that isn't boring or monotonous. I'm loving life right now!!

The people at the place I volunteer think i'm a rockstar. I just like to work smarter not harder. So far i've mailed things, entered library books into the computers, labeled them and picked ties out for job fairs :) I haven't worked with the kids yet but that'll be soon enough!

My husband told me my legs look good in the shorts i'm wearing :) Those are the BEST compliments WOOHOO!

Walmart is giving out free samples of Sun Crystals. This is the stuff that I THOUGHT made that tea the bomb LOL!

Oh Snap!

I had some tea last night with real sugar! A few months ago this would have been the end of my world. I admit I had a bit of anxiety from it. I did NOT know that it had real sugar in it. I just thought the new stevia I bought was the bomb. Then after 2 glasses my mom told me there was already SUGAR in it!! So now I know that i've been lying to myself for the past couple of years. Things DO taste better with real sugar it's not my imaginiation LOL!

My day started off like this:

Mmmm...look how big these are!


A guy I use to work with called me up last night. "April I have 8 lbs of asparagus that I picked. I don't know anyone else who would want it". YIPPEE!!!! He also gave me a bottle of honey from his bee hive SCORE!


I also must mention that I am in awe of you that are able to only add 1 tbsp of peanut or any other nut butter to your oats or an apple. I really CANNOT keep a jar in the house or I would eat the whole thing. I can have the 100 cal pks of almonds and be safe though. I have 1 pack a day and don't go back for more. If you can count out 15 almonds from the jar and only eat those you are the woman! Not me, if I kept a jar 15 would turn into 30. So although I can pass up pizza, cake and other crap I do have a weakness :)

Are YOU Serious?

Do you still order the latest and greatest workout gadget? Are you past that yet? I know I am...thank goodness. I still see some things and think hmmmm...then I slap myself in the face and get real. It is NOT easy losing and keeping weight off. It's not suppose to be. If YOU want it then YOU will succeed.

Now i'm seeing these sort of websites all over the internet and blogs HEALTHY DONUTS Are you kidding me? This is just another wave of the "fat free" craze that got America fat in the first place. Oh my they only have 3g of fat! WOW! Just ignore the fact there are 31g of carbs and 14g of sugar people!! That won't go to your butt or thighs because they are fat free!! AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Now if you are one of THOSE people who can eat this kind of crap and stay "healthy" i'm bowing to you and I hate your guts. I don't like donuts so maybe that's why i'm able to say this stuff :) If it was chocolate cake though give me the real thing!

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Stomach is STILL bloated like crazy. It's kind of cool though...I have a puffy six pack and my low pelvic muscles are popping out like a guys :) Okay maybe i'm sick and twisted. This is what i'm staring at right now:


No wheat or dairy, only 1 piece of gum at night after brushing my teeth.

GOOD LUCK TINA!!!!

What Am I Eating?

No this isn't a post of what I actually eat. Trust me you'd skip right over that. I see all these blogs with yummy food etc...and I drool! I'm pretty plain jane when it come to eating. Mustard is about all the flavor you'll find.

So why is my stomach so bloated and upset?? I start out in the mornings and i'm doing good but around noon it inflates like a balloon! Last week I was getting Mike a sugar free pudding cup and I DID lick the lid. I swear it's from that but he thinks i'm nuts. Seriously i've been sleeping on the couch for the past 2 nights, it's THAT bad.

Another thing it could be is Truvia? I've used it before though and haven't had problems with it. I only use 1 pack in my coffee but I guess i'll cut that out too and see if that helps. Ugh....I really thought I was gonna die last night.

I really think this could happen to me!

Plyo Oh My Oh!

Happy Friday everyone!! I think my husband is jealous of my unemployed status. He's starting to make snide remarks and when I told him TGIF I don't think he found it funny this morning LOL!

I got an email from IUPUI the school i'm trying to get into summer classes and they said they need a copy of my high school transcript. I'm already WAY behind on enrollment so i'm not sure if i'll get in or not. If not i'd have to wait until Spring to take the pre-requisites and then classes don't start until fall. Now that i'm thinking about it i'm not sure if I want to go back to school?? Dang, I change my mind so much I confuse myself.

My uncle knows a man hiring for an office manager at a church and it sounds like cake work but I doubt it pays very much. I'd rather get unemployment and have freedom for a bit :)

My mom and I do aerobics together on Tues, Thurs, and one day on the weekend. I have Comcast and there is exercise TV on there so we just pick one of those and go at it. I try to pick "easier" ones so she can keep up. I amaze myself and my husband at how well I do in step aerobics. To me it's like dancing, you watch and then do it. I LOVE it!! So anyway the one we did last night KILLED me! OUCHY! It was AWESOME! I normally don't do plyos and i've been trying to shock the fat out of my body and i'm sure that did it :) My mom only lasted 10 minutes but we were both dripping when we got done. I was soaked LOVE IT!!!!

I saw this on Pauline Nordin's blog and I LOVED IT! I have a lot of LOVE today LOL!
Do you want to like what you see every day in the mirror and have a positive outlook on yourself or do you want to keep on hiding and blaming your genetics?
This is so true. So many people think they are just destined to be fat. I have a small waist and wider hips. I cannot change that HOWEVER I can get the fat off of them. I have blue eyes, I can't change that(well I could). I have larger thighs when i'm NOT eating exactly to meal plan. Who's fault is that? When people see my show pics they tell me how little my legs are. I swear they are NOT little EVER...just during the water drop week. BUT..they are getting there. I'm molding them to be the way I want them to be. Altzheimer's and high cholesterol ARE genetic in my family and that is why i'm eating and working out the way I do!!!

LOVE THIS QUOTE BY TONY :)

"I'm Maintaining" is another way of saying I'm choosing to NOTHING. Greatness comes ONLY to those who continue to knock down the walls of Complacency. YOU will be the only one responsible for the legacy you leave behind. Tear it up and leave one for all to remember...Get out my way!

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After I saw this I quit having a pity party for myself. I am NOT happy at 120. I am better than that. I will fight my body for all it's worth to get where I want to be. I'm still eating my strawberries though ;)

So you can't lose weight? Well you aren't pushing yourself then. You're happy where you're at? BS! You're just lazy and don't want to put in the work. You don't know why you can't lose weight? I've been there too, hire a trainer they work miracles...IF you do the work.

I'm trying to get myself on the treadmill LOL! I think that did it!

Roses and Bumble Bees

Today I feel GREAT! Mood is up and i'm loving life! Maybe it was those strawberries I had Monday? I better get some more of those :) On Monday I weighed 120.4 lbs and this morning 116.8!! What did I do you ask? I'm not real sure. Just a few little things really:

Used Truvia instead of Splenda (3g of carbs per pkt but it's all natural)
Wanted to cry thinking about getting on the treadmill so i've been doing some step
Getting all 6 meals in
Haven't had asparagus in forever because it cost as much as a doctor's visit, so i've eaten them for the past 3 days. Not much just 7 spears with dinner
Cut cardio in half...except I actually add the step because it's fun

Of course Tony added something too ;)

So I hope this loss brings to 115 in the next few weeks! The best part is i'm not killing myself anymore and i'm not worried about "making weight". I'm not a wrestler and I know that looks count, weight doesn't. I know 116 doesn't sound like a lot of weight but I store it all in my hips ugh....so it looks fat.

Stats: 5/6
Height 5'3
Weight 116.8
Waist - 24.5
Hips - 35.5
Thighs - 21.5

Typically my waist to hip ratio is 10" apart...SOOO hopefully that means the fat will be coming off soon and my hips will measure 34.5!

What am I going to obsess over when I am able to lose this fat and lean out for life? NOTHING!!! LOL!

Giggity Goo

I have been an emotional mess lately! AAAHHHGGGGG!!!! I'm not sure what is wrong with me. One day i'm on top of the world the other in HELL. Yesterday I cried thinking about working out. All day long all I wanted to do was cry. I'm reading a book on androgen disease. There was a sentence that stuck out in my mind....Has your body forgotten it's female? YES! I haven't had a period in 8 months! It also talks how many women think they are healthy because their diet is good and they exercise but if you don't have a period that IS a VERY important sign that your health isn't good....sigh. Well here's my diagnosis.


It looks as if I won't be competing in May. Tony and I had a long conversation yesterday and I think i've made my decision. I'm not sure what's wrong with my body but it's NOT cooperating. I'm okay with that. I know i'm under stress with the job loss etc...and competing isn't my life. I just hate to throw out that OCB card and not get another use out of it LOL!

We're suppose to get better at each show too. I would NOT be leaner than I was in Novemeber. I have to keep that in mind. I think i'm just a later in the year competitor and there is nothing wrong with that :) Until I can get my weight under control I don't need to worry about comps. I'm not at all disappointed with my physique right now it's just less than 4 weeks is NOT going to cut it. Sure there are hoops I could jump through but I am NOT willing to screw my body up anymore than it already is. Tony has cut my cardio in half and we're going to make ME happy. This prep has become a burden and no fun and when that happens what's the point?

I'm sure tomorrow i'll be all rainbows and butterflies :)